Reply to Worth breaking up over a birthday?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Worth breaking up over a birthday?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If something is really important to you, you shouldn't pretend like it isn't. Since you are dating and you have the past experiences with your ex and your BF knows that, it would be weird if he didn't do something. But you have to not catastrophize. [/quote]

This.  You get to decide what's important to you in a relationship, OP.

That said, wait and see if he does something, either before your trip or after you return.  If nothing, you might consider ONE TIME explicitly telling him, that was really important to me, so wtf?

You could also just end it, again, if he does nothing.  Having to spell everything out for people can get really old, especially if you've already been reasonably clear.  Some people require more spoon-feeding than others, and it's fine to decide you don't want to do that for the rest of your life.[/quote]

OP: Thank you, you pretty much nailed it. He is a wonderful guy. I just don't want to have to tell someone/remind someone to do something (anything!) nice on a birthday [b]for the rest of my life[/b], already knowing and feeling what that is like given my experience. But you're right, I will wait to see if there is anything either before or after.[/quote]

How someone treats a birthday when dating is very different than after being married twenty years.  Sure some people do the surprise parties and flowers and dinners out every single year, but it’s also incredibly common to fall into cards/friendly birthday greetings and maybe doing something special just on milestone birthdays.  If this truly is a deal breaker for you for the rest of your life, you need to make that crystal clear, or you will easily be disappointed again.  Or he may walk thinking that’s just too high maintenance to commit to.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics