Reply to Regret asking my mom to “help”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think then ask her for a few specific things a day.[/quote]

Exactly.  Could she do some loads of laundry?  Would she change the sheets on the kids beds?  Would she vacuum the living room and then dust?  Could she make some lasagna to put in the freezer?  Could she start dinner (and then tell her exactly what you want and how to do it)?  All of those are things that she can do in the safety of your home.

I get it, OP.  I would be frustrated and frazzled, too.  I think the PP is on to something, though.  Hopefully if you give your mom some suggestions within her comfort area she'll be more helpful.[/quote]
All of this, plus put it in a notebook like most of us would do for a new person, especially for a foreigner. OP seems to expect her mother to just figure everything out.
Please write out the few things you know your mother can best accomplish. Careful about criticizing how she’s doing everything.[/quote]
OP?[/quote]

I haven’t done a list for her. In retrospect perhaps I should have, though I feel I’ve been very specific in what I’ve asked - cook dinner, make lunch, take out the dog, take kids to the park etc. and explained how things work, suggested she joins the nanny to the park etc, but she doesn’t want to do any of it. I think there is a mix of skills, comfort level and willingness - she has the skills, but willingness is lacking and a list won’t help that. I think the PP who said she thought helping was her mere presence around me was right because there is no other help being offered at all.

Our nanny approached me today and asked if I wanted her to add some household work to her schedule. She’s lovely and I think sees what’s been happening. I think we will take her up on it and add the necessary hours and pay for her to do this until we have head above water.  I’ll try a very simple list for my mom too, specifically cooking dinner next week. If not we’ll just deal and let her be for the 3 remaining weeks, hoping she’ll at least stop asking me to do things for her…

(Oh and this morning she [/quote]

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