Reply to Girlfriend is messy - moved in 3 months ago

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Girlfriend is messy - moved in 3 months ago "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My girlfriend and I have been living together for almost 3 months. It’s going well except she is more messy than I am. Unlike most men, I’m very neat and like to keep things clean. I hate clutter. I rinse + put dishes in dishwasher right away - gf will put in sink or just leave on kitchen counter until end of day, I will do laundry & fold + put away right away - gf throws her stuff everywhere and never seems to fold or put away. I put things back - gf leaves the bathroom counter a mess with all of her products. I clean the fridge every week before grocery shopping - gf never does it until after or checks that we’re out of something until after. I do a reset every night - dishes put away + run dishwasher, fold blanket, wipe down counters - gf had left it messy many times one the nights she stay up later than I do. I know this is very insignificant and doesn’t really matter, but is it annoying habit she has. I just need to vent my frustrations to someone who hopefully gets it. [/quote]

as guy who is the neat freak in the family, I would advise you to take a few deep breathes first.  Second, you need to understand that moving forward, your life/household will never be at the same level of neatness again (and this is coming from someone who is OCD about being neat/tidy).

My DW (and mother of our 3 kids) is the same as your GF - she is messy and leaves a trail of destruction behind - in the kitchen, in the bathroom, etc.

What I learned to do is to acknowledge and appreciate the household/life stuff that she does and does well or better than you - and there are things, you just may not have noticed them yet.  I saw the cleaning issue as something that I would "own" so it really became a non-issue for me.  Yes, it can still make me a little nuts that DW is oblivious to her mess, but it's not worth a big fight or anything of the sort.

recommend a simple quick discussion on one or two specific issues - e.g., leave the dishes in the sink, not sitting on the counter; would be helpful if after you make something to eat, to do a quick wipe of the countertops. you can do a more thorough cleanup later but it at least sets a reasonable (i.e., low bar) expectation that she can meet. might take a couple of reminders but she'll get it.

As for laundry, my DW lays out all the clean clothes from the fryer onto our bed and usually it sits there until she comes up at the end of the night.  If I go to bed before she does, I just move the clothes to a chair or to her side - folding them or keeping them neatly laid out. Typically she'll say something akin to an apology the next morning but I just shrug it off and tell her no problem - it's just not worth fighting or bickering over.

GL[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics