Reply to Couples who keep separate finances - how do you decide who pays when you go out to eat?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Weird sh*t!

I wish I had know women paying for things was a thing when I was single and dating.  I paid for ALL the dinners, except when it happened to be on my birthday.  Granted I was from another country and that was an expectation there.

After marriage, DW and I both retitled our accounts to joint accounts in the same bank.  All expenses are paid from DW's account.  If there's a shortfall, I move money from mine to hers.  Mine is used to fund 529 and investment accounts (some joint, some not).  I did come into the marriage with a small bank balance and funded the 10% downpayment on our house.

I see separate accounts as pointless given that things will get split 50/50 in the event of a divorce.  [/quote]

In our case it's not about protecting assets in case of divorce. It's just that this way worked for us when we were dating, and it's continued to work this way for us through 11 years of marriage. We both enjoy having some privacy and autonomy. I don't want total transparency. And there are minor but annoying ways we disagree on spending that would make our relationship worse if we had to haggle over each one of them. We put enough into the joint pot, and then we have enough separation that neither of us feels smothered.

We don't have kids - and do have a very high amount of trust - so maybe the stakes are just lower, too.[/quote]

Yea, this is a bizarre set up.  Why'd you get married in the first place?  No kids?  Separate finances?  Privacy and autonomy?  Doesn't make a whole lot of sense.[/quote]

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