Reply to Would you include mother in law in holidays and life events if she was like this?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, we can’t control others, only our own actions. You get to decide how you want to be treated and how you want your children to be treated. MiL has shown you over and over again that she’s emotionally labile. It’s fine that you want to keep her in your life, but don’t include her in situations where you feel trapped and forced to endure her rants.

I disagree with the PP who says you have to spell out for MiL what’s making you unhappy and give her a chance to stop. MiL is an adult with access to therapy and self help. She sees your facial expressions and remembers the disagreements as well as you do. If she can’t figure out why you’re unhappy from your words and non-verbal communication during her rants, you don’t owe her an explanation.

I will counter that if you invite MiL to your home, it’s harder to “escape” if she’s unkind. If you meet her out, say at a restaurant or for a picnic in the park, it’s easier to grab the kids and say “Ok, that’s enough. We need to go now.” Remember, it wouldn’t be you “ruining” the “nice” family gathering; this is on MiL and her behavior.[/quote]

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