Reply to If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?

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Reply to "If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] … it's like an out-of-body experience. We don't talk about it nearly enough as a society. I just hope I never have the experience again.[/quote]

I know what you mean, it’s irresistible pull, you cannot breathe in their presence, you’re not in control of your body, you can control your mind if staying away from them and wish you could run away … I have some theory about it
just curious, did you ever feel that way for your wife, that kind of attraction, like in the beginning maybe, in the dating phase, or never? I had that kind of emotion black-hole only for one person, others were not even close[/quote]

NP, but no, never felt that "emotional black hole" for my spouse. There was one other person way back in the day who I was also enthralled with and did it for me, but we didn't last. My spouse (husband) was my rebound from that first "emotional black hole" of a relationship. And he was a good choice, kind, hardworking, loving. But woo. I eventually lost it and cheated because the emotional connection wasn't there for me. It was more of in intellectual connection with my spouse than emotional. Like an arranged marriage, arranged by me. But I loved that feeling of being lost in somebody else (for the old BF and then when I had an affair). It's like nothing else. I'd love to have that feeling again. I loved loving that fiercly and deeply. I know you probably think I could love my spouse that deeply and strongly ... but I don't. There is little emotional resonance between us. [/quote]

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