Reply to Teachers, how do you tactfully refuse to write a recommendation letter?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It was so hard for my son to ask his teachers for a letter of recommendation.  [b]Kids who aren't stellar students don't even know who to ask [/b]and fear being rejected for the request.

[b]OP, if the kid didn't do well in your class, he probably won't get a better recommendation from a different teacher.[/b]  He is coming to you for a reason.  [/quote]

I say this kindly, but if the kid is a poor student why is he trying to get recommendations for college? It seems like an exercise in futility. He’s not going to get in. [/quote]

He has a 4.0 average and SAT scores are decent. But he’s not a standout in his school the way the super duper stellar kids are. He’s just like a lot of other good A students. Not a leader, but a solid student. So there were no obvious teachers to ask. What would they say? Student shows up for class turns in work and gets As on tests.[/quote]

My kid is like yours. She saw her rec letters (she didn’t ask for them, they just gave her them) and they were glowing. The teachers probably lied a little. [/quote]

I'm a professor and I think this parent is totally overthinking the rec process.  I've written many letters for A but not "standout" A students. Honestly, the world needs precisely this type of student who may not be a prodigy but works hard, is organized and makes the best of what they have, if that's what the situation is.  These students have lots to recommend them.  There are other letters to write besides "H wrote his own novel for extra credit in my class and found a new proof for Fermat's last theorem during the final."  Teamwork, on time, being a good citizen, good attendance, improvement and the occasional interesting comment in an essay or test answer are plenty.  I have plenty of nice things to say about B students in my class, too.

I agree with the idea that if you can't write, a good comment is "I'm sorry, I won't be able to best share your strengths with XXX program/school/etc."
What I don't write for -- anyone who cheated, students who fail to turn in work or show up without explanation, who are  unreliable or disrespectful or students who start getting worse through the term *AND* where there is no indication or communication of what is going on.  . i can also be super sympathetic.  If I know there is trouble at home, or you have been ill, I'll also help you out most likely.  Note this does also not include B or C students (I will be honest, but will write that you tried hard and came for help etc if those are true), although I did try my best to decline writing a rec for a C student to Harvard (I've received multiple such requests, with no "hook".  Anyhow).

OP, as far as letters ask your colleagues to each share a couple of letters (names can be redacted), then develop a template.  As a reader said, create a simple questionnaire, so you have material and make the student have "skin in the game." with a couple things like "What is the thing you are most proud of in the course", "what things would you write in my letter for you" , "things I might not know about that might be helpful to discuss" and also about what they are applying for and why (they can just share apps).   On your syllabus (or anytime) create a list of expectations about timing (how far in advance do they need to request and provide you all relevant materials, what they need to provide (eg all contact info for uploading at the time of the request). This will also provide another means to turn students down -- if they can't be bothered to respect your structure.

Then make a template of your own letter -- first paragraph is a summary, 1-2 paragraphs of specific details (culled from all this source) and then a couple of overall summary ideas at the end.    Good luck! [/quote]

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