Reply to Did you DH take his paternity leave?

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Reply to "Did you DH take his paternity leave?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OMG it’s clear like 99% of commenters here have NO IDEA how paternity works and no experience w it.

Let’s be clear, it’s not allowed for mom AND dad to take leave at the same time unless mom is recovering (as in the first week or two or C-section).  Otherwise you can’t both take 12 weeks (or whatever) at the same time bc the requirement is only one primary caregiver at a time!!!

So, the whole idea for folks like me whose spouse DID take paternity is to have them back to back to extend the time an infant is with a parent and to give Dad one-on-one time which is an absolute game changer for 1) level of bonding, 2) dads getting confidence to challenge moms on parenting decisions, 3) avoiding default parenting on mom, 4) mom not worrying who is with baby on her first weeks/months back at work (so helpful for your mental state), and 5) sharing the “hit” to a career that is taking parental leave for either parent.

I don’t think any Dad has to take paternity to set an example. That’s pretentious BS. If your wife doesn't work, or doesn’t have a good job, then you have no justification for taking the time off from work to be the primary care giver. Is the mom going back to work earlier than she wants just so dad can take over to prove a point to the other guys at work!?! No, she’s only going back to work bc of her economic value to the family unit and she either does or doesn’t have that. 
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