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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let me preface this by saying I love this friend, and I don't want to ruin our friendship because I am very lonely. But she's continually making comments like "I am so glad I don't have kids" and "It must be so gross cleaning up a boy's toilet, I'm so glad I don't have to do that." I never even mentioned cleaning toilets! I never even complain about child-rearing, period. How do I respond to comments like these?[/quote]

My childfree friend once said to me, "I didn't realize how hard it was having kids until I observed you (and dh) with your kids." I felt embarrassed and insulted, but she is my friend and I trust she meant no offense. Childfree adults have no idea what it feels like to have a child and no way can they understand how changing your own kid's diaper is not gross, it is standard care. The reward is the joy, love and smiles they bring into your life.[/quote]

How in the WORLD is that insulting?[/quote]

She said we make parenting look difficult, essentially. We have a child centered home where the kids' needs and feelings are considered in our choices, etc. In our style of parenting, there are no selfish parental indulgences if they would interfere with the kids' needs or care. My friend is spontaneous, often going out of town on a whim. She also sleeps until 11am on weekends. I was up with the kids at the crack of dawn with the kids in those days. [/quote]

Did she actually say that, or did you somehow infer that? Honestly, you sound like you are projecting. It actually sounds like she was trying to positively affirm that yes, it is difficult and she didn’t realize it until she observed it.

I don’t know why people look for reasons to be offended. I have all kinds of friends. Some with kids and some without. Never had these sorts of issues. [/quote]

I *felt* insulted, BUT quickly reminded myself that she is my friend and meant no harm. I only laughed when she said it, as if it were a joke. It is difficult to put someone else's needs ahead of your own. I respect the hell out of people who not only can't do that, but who acknowledge that they can't do that and decide not to have kids. I can see no other way of raising my kids. It is a short term gig and they will leave home in a few short years. [/quote]

NP but why did you feel insulted?  That sounds like a compliment to me.  She observed that you are making sacrifices to raise good adults and that that is hard work.  Why on earth are you offended by someone telling you they see the hard work you put into something you value?  Also every response you make is a dig a child free people implying that they’re lazy/selfish so I don’t really think you as should go around taking any how they insult you.  -mom of two[/quote]

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