Reply to Feeling kind of hurt but also paranoid

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Feeling kind of hurt but also paranoid"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She probably wants to talk to him about something personal about HER, not you. Do not make this about your relationship with her, assumptions about visits, etc.  You will understand this when you have your own older children. Sometimes you just want to talk to your child alone. [/quote]

Yes I totally get that.  I did apologize just now to my fiance for immediately taking it personally.  I guess because it's the first time this specific request has come up in the 7 years we been together it threw me for a loop.  We both also mutually agreed that maybe this is FMIL's veiled way of expressing she would like to see her son alone more often [b]so I think once a month I am going to be purposely "busy" to give fiance and his mother that time alone as mother and son[/b].  Sorry for acting so crazy but I do appreciate you guys bringing me back to reality.[/quote]

Aaaahhhh this is insane, if you aren’t a troll. She lives 15 minutes away! She should be able to see her son alone whenever she wants.

My parents live 30 min away, and if I had to bring my husband along to see them every single time (1x/week) lest he throw a big tantrum, we would not be together. Because that is ridiculously controlling and weird.[/quote]

To be fair my fiance and I only see each other awake ranging anywhere from only 1-3 hours a night because of our jobs so naturally if we have dinner with family we go together.  Of course if I already have other plans (like going out with a group of girlfriends or I have to work late) then of course he sometimes goes over and sees his mom alone it's just that the majority of the time it works out to where we go over together. My point is it is something that happens more organically not usually an outright request from his mom.   I find it more strange that a lot of you expect that we should eat dinner or spend our evenings together separately so he could see his mom alone.

I don't know many men in serious committed relationships/marriages that make it a point to spend a ton of time alone with their mom instead of their partner.  Most adults spend the majority of their
free time with their romantic partner or involves them in their family especially if their time together is already limited.  Again it seems like there could be a cultural or regional difference at play here.

It honestly varies based on the week or the month how often my fiance sees his mom alone so I can't give you all a time frame of how often it happens.  I was using once a month just as an example so that we can make it our business to make sure it happens often.  I think this might have been his mom's way of expressing without coming out and directly saying it that she wishes her son came over alone more often.  I hope this explanation I just gave helped clarify what I was trying to say a little better![/quote]

So by your own confession  she’s asked him once and only once  over the course of almost a decade to come see her without you and
You are going ballistic over it. Get a flipping life. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics