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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I appreciate the answers.

[b]I think the stress comes from my kids asking when can we go with them to Busch gardens, a beach house, etc and my parents will get all excited “yes! We are definitely doing that! Give us a date! Yes!”…and my kids get soooooo excited. Then they visit for a few hours on Sunday. My kids are left thinking…huh?[/b]

I do NOT project this on them. I tell them thah Gma and Gpa are old and don’t like to travel and don’t like be in the sun. They like to visit at our home and that’s ok. Then we think of who WILL go to those places with us.

Does my heart ache that they don’t want to spend time with us? Sure. But that’s my pain to deal with at therapy.

We drive to see then when we can and we FaceTime.[/quote]

OK, that is a different issue that wouldn't be resolved if they stayed longer when they visited. I think it's reasonable to talk with them before or after their visits and say that if they aren't going to really commit to going to an amusement park or a beach house with the kids they should not say they will because it confuses and upsets them. Maybe you can have some ideas of things that would be fun for your kids that could work for your parents (activities you can do at your house like cooking or an art project or taking photos together, or places you could go together like a bowling alley or a bookstore or a tea shop) and suggest them to your parents ahead of time. [/quote]

I suppose it goes with my original post because the difference between their words and actions are stressful for my kids. They think Gma and Gpa are coming and we’ll go do all of these fun things!…but we aren’t because they’re here from 2-5.

I do talk to my kids about this constantly, and lovingly. I do not stress wildly about the house or their behavior.

I will, again, talk to my parents about not making false promises.[/quote]
If I understand correctly your kids are the ones asking. Your parents are probably agreeing in the moment because they are put on the spot and it’s easier to say yes than no. Talk with your kids beforehand to make the expectations clear. Don’t have them ask for something that’s not going to happen. It’s not entirely your parents fault. You also need to meet them where they are.[/quote]

NO it is not my 4 year olds fault!

My boys will talk about roller coasters and BG because they love it, or talk about a recent trip to the beach.

My dad: wow! This sounds so great! We want to go! Tell us next time you go! Wow! We’ll be there.[/quote]

This is fine.

The grandpa literally put the dates and planning and yea/nay squarely back to the parents and nuclear family, as it should be.

“Cool, call us when you plan to go sometime and we’ll try to make it.”

That’s fine and respectful. Of you. [/quote]

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