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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We discussed keeping the inheritance separate but spouse was adamant that we commingle it. We have a strong marriage and I think there is gratitude that I have been the primary wage earner for our entire marriage. That’s a good idea to pump up the 529 since our daughter has been talking about graduate school. She hasn’t decided but it would be good to begin funding that. We could always transfer it to a grandchild if necessary. If we were to take nicer vacations I would have to reduce savings. That would be hard for me but I guess our kid will only be with us a few more years so it’s probably worth it.

I appreciate the reassurance that early retirement is not the answer here. I didn’t think so. And I don’t really want to retire yet.[/quote]
Have you discussed this with an estate attorney? This isn't just about your strong marriage. What happens if your spouse passes before you, and you remarry someone with kids? If you don't comingle, the funds can be put into a trust that you can access for as long as you live and then transfer to your kids. If you don't, you'll have to figure this out in a pre-nup or in your will. Much easier to figure this out now by not comingling.[/quote]

I commingled a smaller but six-figure inheritance some years ago without any hesitation. I don't really care what happens to the money if I'm dead; I didn't do a thing to earn it, my parents didn't earn it (it came from my grandparents), and my spouse knew and loved them, too, so why should I be the only person who gets any of it? If my grandparents wanted to make sure any and every dollar they left me went to my children and only my children, they'd have left it to my children in trust. They didn't. I understand there are logical reasons not to commingle assets like this, but people on here act like it's absolutely insane to even consider doing it. I really strongly disagree.[/quote]

I agree with you to an extent.  I would comingle, and similarly, I'm not overly concerned about "my" assets after my death, even the ones I earned myself.  Still, I told my husband that if I die early and he re-marries, he needs to get a prenup figured out to ensure our kid ends up with whats left of "my half" of our marital assets in the end, instead of a new wife and step kids.  He's a really good person, and loves our kid, I trust him to honor that (and vice versa).  I don't expect him to marry a gold digger, but money can do weird things to people.   We talked through ways to do this via a trust & will, and it just is much simpler to trust the surviving spouse to act ethically.  Not ironclad, but good enough for me.[/quote]

That was dumb. You could have put it in a revocable trust that turns into an irrevocable trust at your death, with your husband the beneficiary and your children the remaindermen at his death.[/quote]

We have a lot of money in tax sheltered accounts then we have a house, and not really much else.  Was advised not to put 401ks (etc) in to the trust for tax reasons.  We considered your idea, but not clear that we would want to kcik out a surviving 2nd wife / 2nd husband when we both die.  This all can be dealt with via a prenup.  our main goal was to set thigns up in case both of us die.  If there is one adult left, they get to make the adult decisions from then on out. [/quote]

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