Reply to Controlling mother + DH ongoing conflicts

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. My DH saw the thread and said I missed all the relevant context about my parents and me not sticking up for him when they were mean and controlling over the last three years. I agree there is context here that posters might be overlooking and should consider. He said I don’t decide when something I’m upset about is resolved and that being direct is not mean. [/quote]

1. There is no context about dish-washing. He can claim he's helping to create healthy boundaries, but he's way out of line if the boundary is not letting people wash dishes.

2. Do you see what he just did? He blamed YOU for going on DCUM and trying to make sense of this stuff. Because he wants to isolate you, so that he can control you better. You will always get blamed, or made to feel like a disappointment to him, when you try to reach out to others. Please start noticing trends and patterns here. Better yet - I've had to do this myself - keep a journal. Keep it safe. Use it as a safe repository of facts, dates and times, so he doesn't try to rewrite history and persuade you that you mis-remembered. Been there, done that.
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