Reply to Controlling mother + DH ongoing conflicts

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. My DH saw the thread and said I missed all the relevant context about my parents and me not sticking up for him when they were mean and controlling over the last three years. I agree there is context here that posters might be overlooking and should consider. He said I don’t decide when something I’m upset about is resolved and that being direct is not mean. [/quote]

Two wrongs don't make a right. I can well believe your parents may have had controlling episodes, do you know why? Because your husband is abusive and manipulative, and usually people like you go from one controlling household to another. ***I'm not saying it's your fault***. I was like you, the difference is that I've realized this about my life - I'm older than you, so I've had the benefit of a few more years of soul-searching :-)

Your husband is the classic manipulator: he tries to pick fights with everyone you hold dear, so that he can isolate you and make you easier to control. You might deny that he consciously thinks that, and indeed he himself might not think about it in those terms. But believe me, in the end, the result is the same: you are isolated with few friends and family available to help you, and you will end up powerless to get out.

I know he's reading this, so I won't go into specifics, but you really need to leave. Think about what all of this entails, and find ways to reach out for practical advice without his knowledge.

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