Reply to Controlling mother + DH ongoing conflicts

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[quote=Anonymous]I can’t believe you had so many texts going back and forth about dishwashing. DH should have said in the moment, “Marge- I got this. I know you are trying to help, but we’ve talked about how you aren’t going to try to control every situation. So please, go fill up your tea glass and visit with Bob.”

I do think you have real boundary issues with your parents - so this ain’t excusing your need to keep trying to please them and not have healthy boundaries. But your husband has totally last the forest for the trees by getting obsessed (yes, obsessed - again, who goes on and on and on about dishwashing??).  He sounds controlling and negative, too.

This is NOT an issue for family counseling where you take your mom. This is about YOU finding a way to set boundaries with your family of origin *and* your DH. You must be wound pretty tight to keep trying to please everyone around you without being able to step back and define what healthy relationships would look like and not being drawn into continuing with these very unhealthy patterns and behaviors. [/quote]

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