Reply to divorce from an adult child view

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Self-centered are the parents who divorced while expecting that they won’t shoulder any of the inconvenience. A lot of these so-called parents could use a dose of shut up.  That’s not being a martyr. That’s an adult child sick of listening to their parents’ childish whining.[/quote]
Yes, because it certainly is not an inconvenience for the parents to go through the huge changes that divorce brings into their lives (who you live with, where you live, the finances 
etc etc + divorces tend to be emotionally difficult even when they're 'easy'). That is NOTHING compared to you having to visit two households during Christmas![/quote]

The fact that you fail to see how everything you listed above also trickles down to the children involved (at home or adult) shows just how self-centered you are. Easy to see why your marriage didn’t last. If your finances are so bad, are you going to quietly live in poverty, or are you going to guilt your children into supporting you somehow. Given your self-righteous grievances, you don’t come across as someone who will help themselves.[/quote]

+1000.  If only it were just having to do two holiday visits!  It's way, way, way more complicated than that.  It's trying to care for two sick old people having simultaneous health crises in different cities.  It's when they're broke because they couldn't really afford two homes so you have to bail them out.  Or when they remarry badly and are miserable and their awful step-children move in and mooch off them and drink.

You can say "boundaries!" all day long, but not seeing them means my children don't get to know their grandparents, so that's a hard choice to make.  And when you're dealing with people who are old and becoming cognitively impaired, there's very little choice other than to deal with them and their problems and drama.  It's either that or the horrors of the public safety net.  It has been really eye-opening.[/quote]

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