Reply to My Wife Has Been a Mess for the Past Month

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, what’s your complaint? That your wife, who is doing what she can from here, is upset about what is happening in her ancestral homeland? Have you read some of the accounts? They are awful—kids being killed, mothers being gang-raped, etc. It’s insanely upsetting, especially for people who have ties to Ukraine and can picture their friends and even themselves in that situation. What do you want from your wife? To be immune to those realities? I’m truly confused. Sometimes life and the world are crappy. Have some empathy. At least she is using her skills to help. [/quote]

Unless the wife is able to convince Putin personally to stop, she's nobody and combating misinformation is just a distraction. She chose to have children with OP and needs to pull her weight at home. It's not fair to him to have to pick up the pieces. I'm a woman FWIW. [/quote]'

NP. If enough people say "I'm nobody, I can't get [whatever evil] to stop," then there is truly "nobody" making any effort to do...anything.

She IS achieving something. From what OP posted, she has helped get some Ukranians in front of media. Every one of those interview spots might help somehow. You, PP, cannot guarantee that this work has done nothing at all to help. And it's a huge exaggeration to write as if the only real benefit would be if she were "able to convince Putin personally to stop." What nonsensical hyperbole to make your supposed point. You know that's not the sole thing it will take to move the needle. Saying that a grotesque war in her homeland, leaving dozens of bodies in the streets (do you read the day's news, PP? That's today's latest) is merely a "distraction" from "pulling her weight at home" is sickening.

To OP: Why is there Why does it matter to you at ALL that some of her so-called "friends" are becoming irked with her? This is not a sudden devotion to selling the latest multi-level marketing scammy product. This is not ditching her kids to spend all her time at the gym getting buff. This is something her own children will ask her about in years to come: "Mom, what did you do when the Russians invaded Ukraine?" I figure your wife does not want to have to answer, "Well, I needed to do the school pickups so I let other people worry about the war."

OP, it has been ONE MONTH. My spouse manages an employee who is from Ukraine, and the employee has been very distraught, taking days off work to try to reach relatives there at all hours, spending his personal time on fundraising and other drives, working with the Ukranian community here. Your wife's reaction of helping as best she can is not some weird, isolated, obsessive reaction -- it is what other Ukranians here are doing, as well. You seem to think it's dilettante volunteering. It's using her abilities in a short-term emergency. If you can't handle your kids short-term without disdain for what she's trying to do -- enlist help from relatives or friends, whatever, but be grateful you have a wife, and your kids have a mother, who gives a damn beyond just "thoughts and prayers." [/quote]

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