Reply to Having a hard time coping with being cut out of my sibling's life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, it seems like maybe you were the dramatic one. You had a crisis, then relied on your sibling to refer you to a family friend/get the family friend’s advice. It sounds like you’re sibling actually did what you asked (idk why you think “they had no intention of helping you”) you just didn’t like the advice the family friend gave nor the timeliness of it (not your sibling’s fault). And then you freaked out because your time was up, even though you had had 2 weeks to figure it out (your fault).[b] Again, it sounds like your sibling did what they were asked, so I could see them being frustrated with you when you took out your stress/anger on them. The rest of the family still supporting your sibling seems to suggest they don’t think what the sibling did was  that bad, either. Your sibling clearly didn’t perform above and beyond like you expected them to (and your hurt feelings are valid if you thought your relationship was stronger/you could rely on them) but maybe you overreacted…?[/b] [/quote]

omg this was FOUR YEARS AGO
it is completely irrelevant whether OP yelled for a reason or with no good reason. the whole family is cutting one person out because of this nothing burger. why can't they all just move on? what kind of family excludes members over stuff like this?[/quote]

Because it was probably the last straw and OP has been vague about what she actually said or did. She hasn't taken responsibility for not taking care of her legal issues which were probably of her own making in the first place and blames her brother for not hopping to it to solve her self made problems. I'd distance myself from a needy, helpless, vampire like that too. He has his own family and problems and doesn't need his sister bringing him down. There's obviously more to the story.[/quote]

I’m following this thread since I relate to aspects of it and it’s amazing how posters like you are attacking the OP as a user and vampire even though the OP has clearly stated they don’t ask for help very often. Also, the sibling OFFERED to help and could have rescinded the offer at any time.

And since when is asking for help a crime or being a vampire?!? I read on this forum and elsewhere all the time “ask for help”, “don’t see asking for help as a sign of weakness”, “accept help when offered” …. And then you are bludgeoned and flamed if you do! WTF. [/quote]

WTF indeed. When you ask for help and someone offers but then you call, harass, and harangue them to hurry up because you are on a deadline, then, you are the a-hole. If you want something done right, do it yourself. If should have been obvious that the clock was ticking and OP needed to put her big girl panties on and clean up her own mess. Would have been nice to get help, but again, it's her life and problem and she's ultimately responsible. What would you do if someone went off on you when you didn't help fast enough to clean up a mess of their own making?[/quote]

while agree that, four years ago, OP needed to pursue other solutions and not wait for her brother's lead to pan out, it is vicious to cut off a sibling over this and, even more so, to tolerate a child who cut off contact with one's other child over this. if one of my children wanted to cut off their siblings over such minor (relatively speaking, especially after several years) event, I would absolutely not tolerate it. as I said, at this point, it is completely irrelevant who was to blame for the event from four years ago. the person who still holds the grudge and excludes a family member and her kids because of it, is the evil one.[/quote]

Isn't the more likely story that this was the last straw? OP admits she "yelled" but for some reason won't admit what she said. Again, likely because it's unflattering. I think you need to read between the lines here because it doesn't all add up. Otherwise her brother is totally insane and then why would she want to reconnect anyway? If you believe OP at face value, I think that's naive.[/quote]

I am already pricing this in. I am assuming that OP said something unflattering about her SIL. The problem, as I see it, is not so much the brother but the parents. They are not supposed so side with one child so egregiously no matter what was said.[/quote]

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