Reply to Having a hard time coping with being cut out of my sibling's life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, it seems like maybe you were the dramatic one. You had a crisis, then relied on your sibling to refer you to a family friend/get the family friend’s advice. It sounds like you’re sibling actually did what you asked (idk why you think “they had no intention of helping you”) you just didn’t like the advice the family friend gave nor the timeliness of it (not your sibling’s fault). And then you freaked out because your time was up, even though you had had 2 weeks to figure it out (your fault).[b] Again, it sounds like your sibling did what they were asked, so I could see them being frustrated with you when you took out your stress/anger on them. The rest of the family still supporting your sibling seems to suggest they don’t think what the sibling did was  that bad, either. Your sibling clearly didn’t perform above and beyond like you expected them to (and your hurt feelings are valid if you thought your relationship was stronger/you could rely on them) but maybe you overreacted…?[/b] [/quote]

omg this was FOUR YEARS AGO
it is completely irrelevant whether OP yelled for a reason or with no good reason. the whole family is cutting one person out because of this nothing burger. why can't they all just move on? what kind of family excludes members over stuff like this?[/quote]

Because it was probably the last straw and OP has been vague about what she actually said or did. She hasn't taken responsibility for not taking care of her legal issues which were probably of her own making in the first place and blames her brother for not hopping to it to solve her self made problems. I'd distance myself from a needy, helpless, vampire like that too. He has his own family and problems and doesn't need his sister bringing him down. There's obviously more to the story.[/quote]

I’m following this thread since I relate to aspects of it and it’s amazing how posters like you are attacking the OP as a user and vampire even though the OP has clearly stated they don’t ask for help very often. Also, the sibling OFFERED to help and could have rescinded the offer at any time.

And since when is asking for help a crime or being a vampire?!? I read on this forum and elsewhere all the time “ask for help”, “don’t see asking for help as a sign of weakness”, “accept help when offered” …. And then you are bludgeoned and flamed if you do! WTF. [/quote]

WTF indeed. When you ask for help and someone offers but then you call, harass, and harangue them to hurry up because you are on a deadline, then, you are the a-hole. If you want something done right, do it yourself. If should have been obvious that the clock was ticking and OP needed to put her big girl panties on and clean up her own mess. Would have been nice to get help, but again, it's her life and problem and she's ultimately responsible. What would you do if someone went off on you when you didn't help fast enough to clean up a mess of their own making?[/quote]

I think you’re projecting a ton onto the OP that they didn’t do. Don’t recall the part, for example, where they harassed the sibling or told them to hurry up. Also the OP suggested they find their own attorney and it sounds like backed off that when the sibling got angry.

Yes, of course, clean up your own mess but isn’t the idea of asking for or accepting help that you get help. It’s crazy that we preach that people accept help or ask for help and then, in the same breath, tell them to do it themselves. [/quote]

The help required here was simply "can I have the name and number of your fabulous lawyer friend" and make the call yourself. I would realize other people have their own life, job, responsibilities and its too big a favor to ask when this is something time sensitive for me. Not all favors and requests for help are reasonable. I think it's weird to call a lawyer on behalf of someone else, wouldn't they ask a lot of questions and need information or ask to set up an appointment? How does that work when you're not the person involved? [/quote]

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