Reply to DD’s team mates think DH is creepy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this is a little bit of collateral damage from the MeToo movement.  I am ALL for women and girls speaking out about sexual abuse and harassment, but I think it is often also taken way too far - in terms of being allowed to assume the worst in questionable cases, being allowed to accuse men of these things without any evidence and then everyone being required to take those accusations completely seriously.  A classic pendulum swing in the other direction.  And that never ends well.

Your husband didn't do anything weird.  He is just socially awkward and clueless and doesn't realize yet that he has to work a lot harder to make sure he doesn't look like a creep in this day and age.  Basically, those bad apples (and there are plenty), ruined it for the rest of the decent men out there.  It's not totally fair, but that's what it is, and he has to be aware and act accordingly.  Rules like don't ever be in the room alone with another female alone.  [/quote]

[b]Not picking on you, but all the PP's saying "he didn't do anything wrong" and "teen girls are just dramatic and think everyone's obsessed with them" seem to be glossing right over the fact that OP said she herself was "concerned" by the amount of attention her DH pays to these girls, before any teenager voiced discomfort.

Two things can be true: non-creepy adult men have to be extra cautious around kids and teen girls because the wrong accusation could be devastating, and OP's DH is not a non-creepy adult men.  He's setting off teen and adult warning bells in equal measure[/b].[/quote]

Yup, the PP in bold sums it up perfectly.

It can BOTH be true that OPs DH may not have had a single harmful or inappropriate thought or action but is behaving in ways that legit set off alarms, so those behaviors need to be named and he needs to be given some ideas (and listen!) about other ways of handling his presence at tournaments and drop off/pick up.  And good for OP for telling him what others are saying, so he can't say he didn't know it was an impressoin people had, and a discomfort people had.

And it can ALSO be true that OP's DH has some shady stuff on his mind and it would be a horrible idea for no one to check him if he continues to do things that make the girls or OP or other adults say "What's up with that guy?"

Our middle school DD is on a sports team, so as our oldest this whole "practices & games" logistics and cheering on is new for us as a family.  There was a game where my DD pointed a guy out, no one was clear who he was with and he gave everyone the creeps.  I think in the end he WAS with a family playing at the tournament, but I can vouch that I kept a VERY close eye on him because he just stared at the girls and if they looked at him, he stared back, sometimes pulled his mask down and scared, and it was creepy AF.  But didn't do anything so clearly inappropriate that we felt like we had anything to report to the coaches.[/quote]

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