Reply to If one parent has a big job, how is household divide?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ugh I don’t like the idea that if a parent makes 1M he doesn’t have to take care of kids but if he makes 200K he does.

When you’re taking care of kids, especially as they get older, you get to know them. You really get to know their preferences for clothing, food, books, and toys, you get to know what they are like with other kids their age when you take them to play dates and birthday parties, you get to know what they’re learning in school and which of their teachers are awesome and which are bummers, etc.

And you get some empathy and understanding for your spouse when you have to make your kid brush their teeth, listen to them whine about not having screens, or whatever. And empathy is so valuable in relationships! Not everything is about optimizing efficiency.

Anyways, that’s just my personal opinion.

OP if you actually want to go back to work I’d recommend marriage counseling honestly to talk about division of labor. Because even the process of managing outsourcing is work itself.

But if you don’t want to go back to work, don’t, and don’t feel bad about hiring help. You don’t have to subject yourself to a life without rest or fun or challenge just because your husband earns a lot. In fact you shouldn’t. [/quote]

+1,000 [/quote]

+2,000. I posted earlier that my DH makes just over $1m and is still heavily involved in the household and with the kids. He understands many facets of their personalities and behavior better than I do, because he spends a lot of time with them. Also, I don’t “kiss his feet” WTF[/quote]

Same poster. Maybe it’s because we used to earn the same amount a few years ago? His career has taken off while I have kinda mommy tracked myself. Despite that, we’ve maintained a similar division of labor as in our early days as parents. He does maybe 10% less than before, but our nanny picks up that slack[/quote]

What are you complaining about if you have a full time nanny?[/quote]

I’m not complaining. I just don’t think a DH should be excused from family life bc of his seven-figure job.[/quote]

There is a difference between family life and household chores.  Of course he should spend time with his kids when he is home.  But if he makes enough to outsource help (which he does), he works long hours,  and she stays home, there is no reason for him to be doing any household chores at all.  His time at home should be devoted to the kids.  OP can either outsource household chores or do them herself- or a combination. [/quote]

This!
The guy makes so much money, I don’t think he need to be bothered cleaning the house or cooking meals. OP just doesn’t know what it is to be poor on top of her complaints. Maybe she should try working full time on top of having her kids, no money for children or housekeeping. Then she can come here and tell us how it is.[/quote]

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