Reply to “The Harsh Reality of Gentle Parenting”

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[quote=Anonymous]I don’t understand this criticism of gentle parenting methods because I don’t really get what the alternative being proposed is when we’re talking about challenging behaviors.

My general approach is to do what I can up front to avoid challenging behavior, which generally stems from my kid not having basic needs met (she’s tired, hungry, overstimulated, bored, or doesn’t have enough structure or predictability, etc.). None of this is gentle parenting OR authoritative parenting, it’s literally just the logistics of parenting. We have schedules and systems, we make sure meals happen on time, we don’t over schedule but we make sure there is some structure to gives days shape, etc. There’s no parenting philosophy behind this— it’s just my literal job as a parent.

But of course life isn’t perfect, kids are still learning, and issues are inevitable. When they happen, I find that staying calm is more productive than yelling or getting mad. I get better results and also it means we all feel better after.

Is the argument that I should yell, threaten, and criticize instead? That sounds awful to me. Yes, staying calm and patient is hard sometimes but I just don’t really see that there is a viable alternative that will get me good results and not destroy the trust and security I’ve worked hard to build.[/quote]

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