Reply to Ok to just make major parental decisions solo?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To answer the original question, no, it is never "O.K." to make major child raising decisions "solo" simply because you and spouse disagree about an issue.  It signifies a communication issue between the parents which needs to be addressed.

A second issue which needs to be addressed, beyond poor communications between the parents, is the internal attitude of a parent who would even contemplate making a unilateral decision like this.  This is assuming the other parent wasn't impaired in some way or absent and the need for a decision was immediate.

When making major decisions for a child, or anyone including yourself, a parent has an obligation to do a lot more homework on the issue before jumping to the conclusion that the other parent is wrong or that there is no room for a legitimate disagreement or even a way to find a compromise of some kind.

This is just simultaneously both too rigid, yet too impulsive, a way to handle these issues

It's obvious from the thread that OP didn't do nearly enough homework on special ed issues before jumping to the conclusion that she was "right" and her husband was wrong.  Once she calmed down, actually took the time to learn something, and actually discussed things with her husband surprise surprise it looks like the disagreement was all in OPs own head.[/quote]

I admit I did not do enough homework on the 504.  I think I was just emotional that a) someone from the school expressed pretty much exactly all of my observations and concerns and b) was suggesting to us in a meeting that we look into some kind of formal support for them and c) my husband was actually present at that meeting

However, I've been doing homework on the general issues for years.  And I have been trying to support our child by doing my own research and providing the structure, tools, and skills that are helpful for children with the same issues.  This year has been particularly helpful because of our child's current teacher who seems very experienced and has been slowly working on improving those problem areas like organization and focus and time management.  I am just eager to have someone to partner with who is more knowledgeable and skilled than I am in helping our child with those problem areas.

Maybe I own part of the communication issue.  But my husband does too.  I feel he gets very defensive without having done any of the research and pretty much puts his foot down without even knowing or understanding all the issues.[/quote]

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