Reply to Redshirt mom vs. Tiger mom -- seeking a competitive advantage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]PP here. Maybe my perspective is different because my DC is in upper school but non academic work after school and in the summers is the norm, not the exception. of course all these kids have tons of homework and my DC does her homework. But she also reads, goes on facebook, hangs out with her friends. You don't want that for your child? Seriously? She's bright, but I wouldn't say she's a super genius. The key is that she loves learning and has found academic passions and I truly believe that happened because it came from within and [b]her parents didn't schlep her to kumon and make her do worksheets. [/b]And because she's in upper school I can see the difference between the children of the tiger moms and the ones who succeed without the "enrichment". The kids whose parents have pushed and pushed, the tiger moms, fall into two categories. Some feel like failures because even though they are good students they aren't the very best students. Others are very successful and speak openly about how hard their parents push them -- they are unhappy and other kids feel sorry for them. Then there are the kids who do well on their own, without being pushed. They are well respected by the other kids, who see it as natural talent and not artificially constructed by their parents. And finally there are all the other kids, who do fine and aren't pushed and may not be the stars of their class. They are the ones who will ultimately be the most successful. I know this because I went to a Big 3 school and I saw this happen over and over again. The most successful adults were not the kids at the top of the class.

So just know that the way you "mentor" your child will be known by the other kids in their class as well as their teachers. This is not always a good thing. [/quote]

I get it.  You do not like Kumon.  Where do you schlep your kids of to?  Of course, your kids do not engage in prep activities (Kaplan, Princeton, or Big 3 home brewed version of prep).  Get a life.  Some folk do not schlep to synagogue or church (where some kids get the bulk of their enrichment and prep).  No one here is castigating these kids and families.  Simply do what pleases you and leave others alone to do the same.  Our kids have very different goals and aspirations.  Do you get it?  Some people rise to the top of the class despite this not a major goal or focus...but I see you can't relate.  Top of classes from what I see is a low bar.  Forty percent of the County is on the middle school and high school honor rolls?  You are making a big deal out of nothing.  Go back to doing what pleases you and your children and take you "nosey" nose out of the affairs of other children.  You come of jealous and envious of others who mentor their kids in a different manner.

Global trash dumps are littered with self-annointed (and society-annointed) normal prodigies.  The rare few earn the title with discipline and hard work.[/quote]

Yeah, I schlep my kids to synagogue and I am completely confused by why you think this is somehow analogous.  Synagogue has nothing to do with "enrichment or prep" as you put it.  It has to do with passing on our faith and giving them a spiritual foundation.  Its not like anyone sits down and says "well, we can go to church or go to Kumon."  There are plenty of kids in Kumon whose families have a religious orientation.  Personally, I believe that faith can enrich your life but that has absolutely zip zero nothing to do "goals and aspirations."  In fact, faith is a sphere that is removed from goals and aspirations, it serves my spirit but doesn't serve my career or whatever.

But, yeah, I do not like kumon unless it serves a specific deficit that a child is facing.

And btw, prodigies earn nothing.  The whole point of prodigies is that they have innate talent.  Success is earned through hard work.  Prodigies can become successful but there are numerous examples -- look at the classical music world -- of prodigies who never achieve success as adults.  You don't earn the title of prodigy through hard work, you earn something else.

When you accuse me of jealousy you are, again, stoking your competitiveness.  I don't agree with your parenting philosophy, true, but why would that make me jealous?  I could have one everything you are doing, I chose not to, and my children are thriving.  I hope yours thrive as well.  But I suspect that starting in their teen years you will get some push back, at which point I hope you aren't too rigid about adjusting.[/quote]

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