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[quote=Anonymous]OP don’t listen to these people blaming you for not giving enough, or not being the right kind of person. It’s not about that. I’ve had friendships where I gave a lot, checked in when they were ill, babysat so they could have a night out, started a meal train for them, etc., and they bailed on me when I needed help. I’ve also had people help me out if the blue even though they barely knew me. It’s not a 1:1. Some people are generous, some are not. Some people will only help if it serves them in some way. Others help out if the goodness of their hearts.

It is hard and PPs are right that often the problem is that your friends are also overstretched and tired.

One thing I recommend is making friends with people in different walks of life. I don’t lean on fellow parents with young kids. I lean on my neighbors with no kids, or the older woman I used to work with, or the lady in my neighborhood who organizes clean ups I go to. And I help them out to, in different ways— I watch pets and check on plants when they travel, offer to pick up groceries or give a lift to someone without a car, invite people for dinner or brunch if I sense they might enjoy a meal with young kids.

This is what church offers that can be hard to build elsewhere— a diverse group of people who all bring something different to the table. If you only have friends who are just like you, you will all need the same things and the stuff you have to offer won’t be needed.[/quote]

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