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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP Remember that your parents are from a different generation, they may not even know all the relatively new politically correct terms[/quote]

Sorry, but no. It’s not “they’re ooooold, they don’t knooooow any better.” They have lived a long life through many cultural changes, including this one, so they can and should be mature enough to know better. And they are damn well old enough to respect when a parent asks them to stop repeating the same stupid line about a child’s eyes.[/quote]

Not sure if this is OP but my overall impression is that there is more at play here than the grandma inaproppriate comment. Some odd family dynamic. What is OP goal here? Encourage strangers to say how bad is her mom and how good she is? [/quote]

I'm OP. Those posts above were not me.
There is a weird dynamic with my mom. Not my dad. My dad replied with a thoughtful long story about how he grew up and they're not prejudiced, and I could listen respectfully and say, "Yes, Dad. You are kind of lucky that you grew up in the countryside where people were judged on how hard they worked, not in a segregated area. I'm not saying you guys are racist, I'm saying that phrase is really racially insensitive and I would hate to have my daughter repeat it on the playground and hurt someone, the way similar comments hurt us." He's like, "Oh, okay, I didn't realize that." I explained how the pulling eyes thing is offensive too, and he LITERALLY had no idea. He didn't realize that's offensive. But he's willing to talk and discuss with empathy and care.
My mom... No. She believes we should be listening to HER. HER "generational wisdom." She is so offended that we would be "correcting" her. WE should know that that is not offensive, "People used to have a sense of humor about things," when I explain racism has hurt us on the playground (for example, girls have told my daughter she's a boy, not a girl, because her hair looks shorter when it's all curly, and my 4 year old daughter has to defend herself and her hair which pains me so badly as a white person who NEVER had to endure that kind of thing... Anyway, in all of that, when ask for just some empathy,  She says, "Well, I feel SORRY for you," sorry that I "subscribe" to this worldview where racism exists. It's.... Complicated. Lol.

I needed to vent here because A) I did not want to keep the conversation going on once we'd dropped it and B) my husband is strong and confident enough to just say to me, "Yeah that's racist, but she's never going to change, that's why I don't sayy anything when I hear them say things like that." Whereas I often fall into the trap of thinking my mom might actually care enough to want to learn and grow and maybe empathize.

Also - she's a preacher. It's totally part of the dynamic. SHE knows how the world works and we should be listening to HER. Because SHE knows the real "forces of evil" in this world... It's a whole thing :) so yes, there's more to the story!!![/quote]
Oh LAWD a preacher. My mom is too, but a black one. Maybe she should meet your mom and she can tell her all about what God thinks about racism and his children that will not work to acknowledge and eradicate it.
Good Luck.[/quote]

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