Reply to Thank you, DCUM: parents and ILs weird with food

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't really get the complaints about inlaws not "serving" you lunch.  Cant you just open the frog and get something out? I wouldn't expect to be served multiple meals at someones house.  [/quote]

I don’t think you understand the dynamic with these older people. You can’t just open the fridge without horribly offending them and causing a family row. Nor can you bring the food. Which is why that one poster has to fake that she won the Harry and David gift basket. [/quote]

I don't get this.  Yes you can.  Your spouse was their child.  They grew up in that house opening the refrigerator and making themselves food when hungry when parents weren't cooking.  But now as an adult they are too afraid to open the frig? Grow a backbone.  This is insane.[/quote]

I can open the fridge at my ILs all I want. It isn’t going to magically make food appear. We learned the lesson of their weird food issues the hard way after a cross country flight and then a 1.5 hour drive to their house to find that there was no food because lunch was over and they hadn’t gone to the grocery store yet for the exact ingredients for dinner. It had never previously been an issue so we were not anticipating it but we’re anticipating having a late lunch at our 1pm arrival.[/quote]

This is why we always eat a big meal before going to our in laws’ or my parents’ houses. If we’re flying in, we might eat at the airport before they pick us up. If we’re driving, we stop to eat in their town before going to their house. And we go to the grocery store either before going to their house or within a couple hours of arrival. They can comment all they want about how much we’re eating. I don’t care. I refuse to be hungry or have my kids be hungry due to their weird food issues. I used to keep non perishable snacks hidden in our guest room to avoid their comments/judgment but now we just eat out in the open and deal w it—I’m not going to hide away secretly feeding my kids granola bars anymore. It’s not good for the kids to get that messaging that eating is bad.

When my in laws visit us they comment constantly about “wow this is a big meal” when it’s 4 oz piece of fish with some vegetables on the side. And the next day they’ll say they’re still full from that big meal last night and don’t want breakfast. It used to make me feel bad about myself even though I’m thin and my spouse and kids are also thin. Now I just realize they’re the ones w a problem not me.[/quote]

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