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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s funny how the good parents and the bad parents of estranged children all have a similar perspective and their stories sound basically the same. They didn’t do anything too bad, and they love their kids so much it should compensate for all their flaws. They made mistakes, but so did the kids. Everything was fine until the kid was influenced by college friends/romantic partner/terrible therapist, and now they don’t want any contact with the people who “traumatized” them. We endured real abuse/trauma and we forgave and forgot, why can’t these kids do the same for us, especially when we didn’t do anything too bad and the kids aren’t perfect either? [/quote]

I just think it's a stupid move unless your parents are physically abusive, extremely emotionally abusive or you are in major danger somehow. The world is not as friendly as these people seem to think. Family is importan.t even broken family. Being traumatized by your parents telling you to clean your room gets an eye roll from me. It doesn't mean you have to live near them. But this idea that your parents didn't really have any authority when you lived under their roof is problematic and is the same reason why teachers are leaving. Uncontrollable kids.[/quote]

How would you know from the parents’ stories if they’re abusive or not? Do you think people who physically abuse their kids advertise? Do you think people who emotionally abuse their kids are healthy enough to recognize and admit what they’re doing? Or do you think maybe there’s some sort of continuance of abuse from one generation to the next, because we often tend to parent the way we were raised-sort of a cycle of abuse if you will? Just because they’re better than their parents were doesn’t mean they didn’t cause harm. I think people tend to focus on physical abuse, which is bad of course, but emotional abuse can be far worse and it often lasts longer. [/quote]

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