Reply to Husband is silent when I most desperately need reassurance and acknowledgment

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you telling us that while you were venting to him, he just stood there silent and pretended not to hear you? Or did he say things, but not what you needed?
If you are talking to someone and he is ignoring you, sure he is an ass. If he is saying things, but not what you want to hear, what is he a sorting hat from Hogwarts that can read you thoughts?[/quote]

Op here. I’m talking silence. Looking at me but completely silent. This has happened lots of other times, and not just when I’m upset. Total silence. [/quote]

Your husband is thinking one or more of the following:
1) What is she ranting about now?
2) Is this really Lebron's 10th finals appearance and how will he do against Miami?
3) I'm probably not going to get some tonight if she's in this type of mood
4) Am I supposed to nod yes to what she is saying?  Keep completely still and maybe she will stop and walk away
5) I wish my wife had some girlfriends to yap at about these things[/quote]

If he’s in the autism spectrum, even high functioning, he’s actually thinking NOTHING. He has shut Down, he doesn’t do feelings or consoling or talking. He’s thinking nothing, he’s blocking out everything and hoping she shuts up because he doesn’t know what to do or what to say.

The reality is a normal husband would have given her a hug, the ice and into, and taken her to Urgimed for an X-ray. Either immediately or waited a few hours to see if a sprain or strain..

Aspies only know what they know (aka what they themselves have done before). You can talk to them until you’re blue in the face about physical pain, or a beautiful waterfall, or a terrible boss — they cannot relate on any level, unless they did it themselves. [/quote]

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