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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What is the usual division of childcare responsibilities during the week?  If the division is anything like the one I have with DH, I can appreciate where he’s coming from.  My DH works in the office most days while I WFH (our younger child is on an aftercare waitlist but until she gets a spot someone needs to be here when she gets home from school).  My DH packs their lunches before he leaves at 8am, but then I’m the one shepherding them through the rest of it until the last one leaves the house at 8:45, so I’m not able to start working until almost 9am.  The first one arrives home around 2:45 most days, so I have less than six solid work hours because the distractions and disruptions start.  I keep working until about 6 pm (but those last few hours are pretty inefficient) at which point I stop working to make dinner, help with homework, etc.  DH usually gets home around 7 pm, having been able to focus exclusively on work for the better part of 10 hours.

The consequence is that I am barely staying on top of work, meeting deadlines, etc., so one day with the kids unexpectedly home is enough to send everything into chaos for me.  DH, on the other hand, is essentially back to his pre-pandemic work schedule and isn’t facing the same day-to-day challenges I am.  Therefore, he is in a much better position than I am to absorb the occasional unexpected day of disruption.  Since I am the one managing this aspect of the day-to-day pandemic-related disruption, I have zero qualms about telling DH he’s the one who had to step up and figure it out on a snow day.
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DP.  I would be curious to hear OP’s response to this, because it is my experience too as the WFH parent.[/quote]

OP here. I help move her along to get her ready in the morning before I leave by 6:45/7am, pack anything she needs for school, etc. DH takes her to the bus (a few houses down) at 7:30am. He wakes up at 7am, I wake up at 5:30am. She is in aftercare till 4:30/5pm everyday (I pick her up). DH gets focused work time from 7:30-5:30/6 everyday. That's more than I get. I'm in the office from 7:15/7:30-4/4:30. I take DD to all of her activities (2 nights a week) and do all of the cooking. He is by himself 2 nights a week to do whatever he pleases - work or leisure.

Trust me, he's getting plenty of focus time to work. 
[/quote]

It sounds like things are pretty unequal under normal circumstances. Is he this inflexible and unwilling to compromise about everything? I mean, have you asked him to cook on the evenings you’re doing the activity shuttling? Or to take a break/knock off early and throw dinner on the oven once in a while?

I’m just getting the impression there’s an underlying issue here that has come to a head on snow days. But you shouldn’t be shouldering cooking every night if he’s home before you. Or sleeping until 7 and letting you handle everything single-handedly. How much did you push back on the typical arrangements, and with what results? When trying to make family decisions like holiday plans, how much can he compromise?[/quote]

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