Reply to Do you think most people in their 40s are unhappy?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can’t talk or reason to someone in a midlife crisis.  It’s like they have had an alien take over their body.  It’s so weird and a helpless feeling to watch.  For us, I don’t think we would have the very happy marriage and intimacy we now have if it didn’t play out.  Now he’s been there done that.  The grass wasn’t greener, it was scorched and brown.  It put how wonderful he had it into perspective and forced him to confront self-sabotaging behavior.

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I (woman) am in the throes of a midlife crisis. Currently seeing a therapist and couples therapist. It doesn’t feel like an alien… it feels more like being fed up with all the shit I put up with for years and I want to burn it all down…[/quote]

What have you put up with? Like unequal work in the house?[/quote]

I am PP… I know I’ll be judged here but it’s not super dramatic, not dealing with addiction or mental illness. Kind of just deep resentment of DH from things that never got set right earlier in the marriage, carrying the emotional labor load in our family this whole time, then traumas and things I’m grieving personally over the past couple years (in addition to pandemic stress). I’m burnt out and no one can help me and DH doesn’t have the emotional capacity to support me and I’m just putting myself for the first time… perhaps it looks like I’m an alien but this is what it feels like to me on the inside.[/quote]

You have depression. You need to see someone. Unfortunately it’s totally understandable that another person does not want to take over your life as well as theirs in order for you to spend several years finding yourself. You were immature and didn’t speak up. Work through that. Work through the depression and stop playing victim and you might get somewhere and actually see the light. [/quote]

Thanks for your support but you can’t read… am seeing a therapist and also couples counselor multiple times a week, staying mentally healthy is a part time job at the moment. You have no idea what has happened in the past couple years for me[/quote]

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