Reply to Paying for dates

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I always offered to split and never accepted a second date from a man who took me up on it. I’ve been happily married for more than ten years to a man who isn’t hurt by a $150 restaurant bill and who is generous and well mannered— all very important things to know about a potential partner up front! Every part of a date is an audition.[/quote]

With all due respect, your opinion on this is invalid if you've been married for the last 10 years.[/quote]

I’ll accept that feedback, though it sounds from this thread like others still follow this advice.

Here’s my logic, as a happily married person, take it for what it’s worth:

When you are dating, as a woman, you are told you will kiss a lot of frogs to find the right guy.  You will hopefully also have been told by your family to know your worth and know what you want in a partner. I do not— and did not— want a partner who saves money on another person. That’s something that’s hard to know at the dating stage! Later in life you see it when a man is driving a new car every year while his wife has an old minivan, or you see an exhausted new mom whose husband objects to the cost of a baby nurse, or a man flying in business class while his wife wrangles the kids on coach. Why waste more than one date on a person like that when the universe has other people in it?[/quote]

I don't see the logical leap from "that guy accepted my offer to split the check on a first date" to "my husband flies first class and leaves me and the kids in coach." I'm happy for your marriage, but you likely gave up too soon on some viable princes. [/quote]

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