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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wondering if there are cultural biases at play here as well.

OP, I'm glad you have found what seems like a compromise solution.  Be courteous, but don't put yourself out for this man; he will not only not appreciate it, he will decide that you're a pushover, and will dump even more stuff on you.  And do not allow your daughter to interact with him, in the absence of another adult in the same room.  He is toxic.

As others have said, this is much more of a DH problem than a FIL problem.  I hope your spouse can see just how destructive his father is, and figure out a way to keep him engaged in something besides his children.[/quote]

Op here. Definitely think there are cultural issues at play, and I would rather not discuss it to keep some privacy. In my culture, your father in law is treated like a king. My FIL loves this and we used to have a great relationship. Once I found out that he blames my daughter for everything and calls her names, i am so angry with him I don’t feel the same respect and love as before. I am really angry at him. I don’t want to ruin the relationship he has with his son (which if I am honest isnt that great) but I will put my children first, always. I don’t mind making him lunch or cleaning, but I won’t stand by and pretend I don’t know how mean he can be. My husband doesn’t think it’s as bad as my son and I think it is. [/quote]

Ah, there it is--CULTURAL issues.  Just say it in the first post FCOL.  Your husband is going to do NOTHING and you knew it all along.  [/quote]

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