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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Daycare is the cost of working split between both parents. It’s not a cost that’s only charged to women. Ugh!![/quote]

Well, when your family is completely stressed out because of having 2 working parents and young kids in daycare, and you have very little weekday time with your kids, it starts to feel 'not worth it' for the difference in net HHI. [/quote]

Some families are less stressed when both work. You really shouldn't extrapolate your, and your spouse's, inability to manage a workload and household to other families.[/quote]

You are both being mean. I AM stressed out by two parents working. I dont think that means i can't manage a workload and household.

I also don't think it's a purely financial decision. If you have enough money to choose whether to work or stay home, then you shouldn't just consider dollars, you should consider what you want most out of some of the prime working and parenting years of your life. Maximizing your bank account shouldn't be the only or even the top value in deciding how to *spend your actual life*. Some benefits are not quantitative, and that's true of both work and parenting.[/quote]

+1 and well said.

I'm sure a lot of people would say I am dumb for choosing to mostly stay home (I do work PT but it is intermittent and I only make a small fraction of what I used to when I was FT) but when I think to what my life was like when I was working FT, it's so obvious to me that this is an improvement both for me and for our whole family. Everyone is happier. I think when I first suggested this, my DH was nervous about me staying home because of the pressure of being the sole breadwinner, which I totally get. So we talked about me doing it for a couple years. But now we're in such a good place that when I talk about taking on a bit more PT work, he always reassures me that I should only do it if I want to and never out of some need to contribute financially. We've both really come to appreciate the non-financial contributions of the non-working spouse. I guess if I was worried about my marriage I might feel differently (it's true I would probably be screwed if we divorced) but we have a very solid relationship and I know this is the right decision for us. I'm also always aware that neither of us could ever have this arrangement that works so well, without the other. I think it helps us appreciate each other that much more.[/quote]

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