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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've been a SAHM for 7 years now, since my oldest was born. Before becoming a SAHM I was a teacher making about 40,000 a year so not only did my husband and I decide that it was valuable for us to have a parent home w/ our kids when they were little rather than sending them to daycare, my salary was low enough that the cost of a good daycare would've been similar to what I was making so financially it made sense for me to SAH too, especially once we had a 2nd kid 2 years after the 1st.

Now my oldest is in 1st grade and my youngest is in her last year of preschool. In fall 2022 she'll start kindergarten and both kids will be gone daily from 9:30-4. I could get a job. I'd LIKE to get a job because I miss having a life outside the home, I want to contribute financially to our household, I want my kids to see that both men and women work and equity in relationships/between male and female spouses in particular is important to me. But I want it to be a job that's flexible enough that when there are random days off of school or my kids are sick and need to stay home from school (or they have virtual school bc of Covid related things that likely still will be happening next school year), I can be there for my kids. And I want a job where I can work from 9:45/10 (after I drop kids at school) until 3-3:30 so I can be there to pick them up from school and be home w/ them after school hours and take them to after school activities. I'm brainstorming but I so far don't know of any jobs that would be flexible enough for me/where I could work the hours I want and take time off whenever I need to so that I can be with my kids as much as I want to be.

I hope I'm able to come up with an idea that will work for me/us but if not, I refuse to feel any guilt in staying at home. I will volunteer, I will manage the household, I will take care of myself and my spouse and kids. And there's no shame in that. It's important, meaningful work too.

I wish that: a) people didn't work so many hours in this country, b) there was a generous amount of paid parental leave after a baby is born and also just paid leave/sick leave in general so people don't have to worry about that every time a kid is sick, and c) that childcare was more affordable. If all of those things were the case, I probably would've never left my job in the first place. I loved teaching. I feel like yes, we were very fortunate that I was able to be a SAHM at all and many people don't have that choice but also, no one should have to have their kids in daycare from 7am-7pm while working long hours. Let people work 5-6 hours a day. That's much more reasonable work/life balance and most jobs are really not that important that people need to be working 40-60 hour weeks.[/quote]

Then start looking for a job.  I find that many SAHMs use the work hours and leave as an excuse.  It’s like they have this narrative in their head about how they won’t find a job with enough leave or decent hours but they haven’t even interviewed for a job!!!   Find a job, get an offer and then figure out if the benefits work for you.  Almost every woman I know who works has a somewhat flexible job.  The work place is more flexible than ever.  I hate to sound mean but the stuff you write just sounds like an excuse.  Like you have anxiety about returning to work so you’re waxing some narrative about how you won’t have enough leave and you’ll be away 10 hours a day.  I mean you’ve been out of work almost a decade.  Perhaps things have changed???  Seriously just start looking for a job and go from there.  Unless you want to be unemployed another 7 years from now telling the same sob story about how working would require no sick leave and long hours.  Sounds like you’re done having kids so stop using the parental leave as an excuse too.   [/quote]

Why do you even feel so strongly about this? [/quote]

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