Reply to Is our 23 y/o daughter being used and led on by her 23 y/o medical student boyfriend?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I was your daughter when I was 25, except my boyfriend wasn’t even from a wealthy family.
I had more money as I was older and he was still a student, would fly out to see him, etc. 
Would I listen to anyone, not just my mom, anyone, who told me not to do it? No.
Why not? Because I was a sentimental, low self esteem soul who was convinced I could only find someone genuinely loving among those who are not “cooler” than me. I was open to other relationships but they never worked out, this LTR was the only more or less genuine thing I had. The other guys didn’t plan on being with me seriously and long term.
I don’t know, I think I was just very unsure of myself and I could only dare to hope for real love from those who weren’t quite my equals. 
I know it may not be exactly like that for your DD, but she may view this guy as something genuine, something pure in her life. She may feel the need to “earn” love by doing so much work in a relationship.
I think if you are close to her - hear her out about their relationship; ask hee what makes him so special and how she feels about having to pay for her flights. Try to hide your judgement or she will withdraw from you
But generally this idea of having to earn love comes from early childhood… a combination of nature and nurture… and I think you are very much a mom whose love has to be earned… [/quote]

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