Reply to Vent: “gift” of a trip that I don’t want and requires me to spend lots of money and time

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Reply to "Vent: “gift” of a trip that I don’t want and requires me to spend lots of money and time"

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[quote=Anonymous]I can empathize. My parents frequently go places for 2-6 weeks and give us little guilt trips about coming because they are paying for the airbnb and we can "pick any weekend we want" as if that makes it super easy to visit. I honestly think they don't understand how expensive flights are (they don't fly), how logistically complicated it is to get away in the middle of work/school (they worked, but it really was 9-5 when they worked, and commuting was a different animal, and the 24/hour email/cell cycle was just starting so they never participated in contemporary work culture).

We have gone maybe 1/10th of the times (they go 3-4 times a year). COVID has been a great excuse. There was one time we were financially hard up and my mom offered to pay for the flights, but reimburse me, and then she didn't...oh man, my husband was LIVID. Really tainted the whole experience. Then my mom said stuff like "Don't tell your dad" which makes zero sense to me: my dad is nice, and they are well off. We ate it, but never again unless we ALL agree and set the terms and pick the place and agree on costs.

If you can afford it I would go, but just this once. And if it comes up again just say "We had a nice time last summer but we can't spend vacation money on this every year. We'll see you Sunday at dinner!"[/quote]

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