Reply to What sustains a marriage more -- good sex life or good friendship?

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Reply to "What sustains a marriage more -- good sex life or good friendship?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not interested in sex anymore after 2 kids and reaching my 40s.  Look, I no longer have the body I did in my 20s, OK? And I work FT. Plus he has aged too. He’s fit but his hairline is receding!(gross).  And “it” ceased to be interesting long ago.

Why can’t men just be happy with friendship, kids, career, our house, etc?  Why does there still have to be sex? Men are just selfish babies.[/quote]

My wife would write this, she basically says this.

What's the solution if you still have a strong libido? Divorce seems so drastic.

I know a lot of men deal with this by cheating, or moving on to a 2nd wife. Seems like a hassle.

I am with OP, the friendship only goes so far but to those of us with a strong libido it's definitely the sex that sustains the deep connection.[/quote]

NP.  Would you be ok with maintenance sex?  Is that a solution?

This is where it seems like men use sex as an excuse to leave.  If your wife tells you that she lives you and is willing to compromise with maintenance sex, men still aren’t happy.  This is when it seems like men are just selfish babies.[/quote]

once a week maintenance sex, lovingly engaged in, with the occasional more involved vacation or other occasion better sex would be a perfectly acceptable compromise. I am down to once every 1-2 months, rarely oral, mostly quickies to get it over with. Would you be ok if your husband offered you that? There are many, many men in my shoes which is why I eyeroll when I read people who were cheated on saying "we were still having sex!"[/quote]

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