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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One of DH’s parents passed away this weekend. All folks married into the family were expecting this, it was just a matter of time. The siblings and surviving parent are in shock and blaming themselves for not being able to save the other parent. There is not much that could be done after MOF diagnosis. Now the family wants everyone at the funeral. I told my husband that he needs to go and me and the kids (two three year old toddlers) will stay home and watch service online. I mean I will watch it online. We just got back last week after being there for two weeks and my little guys are exhausted and just drained. How can you explain to a spouse that taking toddlers to a funeral is not age appropriate and we probably should not be there due to COVID? No darts please.[/quote]

Have you lost a parent, OP? I have and your attitude pisses me off on behalf of your DH. Your entire post reads as so incredibly callous towards your husband and his family.  You seem to want things to be business as usual because it's what's convenient for you.  Do you want a cookie for accepting his parent's death before him? COVID isn't much of an excuse when you were just out there visiting, and toddlers at a funeral are no big deal. I get you are tired, but your husband really needs this and I can promise you as someone who has been there, he will not forgive you if you do not go because you are tired. Je may say it's okay and he understands and put on a good face, but in his heart, he will hold it against you for the rest of the time you are together.

Just heads up he is not going to be the husband you knew for a long time possibly ever again. He will be moody and short-tempered, Wanting to do more family stuff with you and the kids and his family of origin, he may become a workaholic or suddenly become very lax about work and things around the house. IT's not just business as usual and you need to accept that and support your spouse.[/quote]

+1. If my DH sent me alone to my mother’s funeral because he was tired, I’d resent him forever. Who does that? OP, there are times in life when you show up and this is one of them. This isn’t about being there for grandmother but Supporting your spouse going through a god awful time[/quote]

And yes, I would take my kids with masks. [/quote]

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