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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do a lot of research about (domestic) open adoptions. Realize the life-long implications of having the birth parent(s) and their extended families involved in your child's life, and if that is something you are willing to take on. [/quote]

We only want to do closed adoption.

Is it only possibly trough international adoption?[/quote]

Closed adoption doesn't mean the child won't need to know they are adopted and it won't shield them from being adopted or feeling different.

Most international adoptions are considered closed but not really as you can hire someone in country to find the birth parents.

Domestic adoption  - if you are offered a closed adoption scenario which is very rare these days I would think long and hard about it and assume there is some issue with one or both of the birth parents.

If you want to adopt an infant or young toddler, than international adoption is not for you.

Poke around social media for adult adoptee accounts to get a better idea of the lifelong issues some adoptees faces. You can be wonderful, loving, caring and perfect and still your child could end up resenting the fact they are adopted.  So just know that going in.

It's much better to have some connection with the birth family. (I say this as an adoptive parent btw)

Don't adopt a bi-racial child because they won't really be Black.  Agencies often say this and it's easy to get caught up and believe it. They will really be viewed by society as Black.

Lastly, it's ok to decide that you don't want to adopt.  It isn't a cure for infertility and some people simply can't truly accept adoption over a biological child or one they birth.

If you can carry a child, you could consider other methods - egg donor, sperm donor, or embryo adoption. These might be a better fit.

[/quote]

This is just not true for all adoptees. I hate blanketed statements like this. Two people can have the exact same adoption history and have completely different reactions to it. Adoption is nuanced and all your statements are very black and white. [/quote]

This.  Please don’t listen to all that.

[b]No regrets.   It was a long, hard and difficult process. [/b] But, so worth it.  [/quote]

Yes but you are the adoptive parents.

Years from now when your kids are teens and young adults, they will get to have their own ideas and feelings about adoption.  It's just so hard when the kids are young to think they or you will ever see adoption as anything but wonderful and rosy.

Nothing I wrote is black and white except that adoption isn't a cure for infertility.

It's just the kind of things that adoptive parents don't want to think about especially when their kids are young.  Instead of getting upset and defensive, just accept that like the PP said every person's experience being adopted is different and your child might not have the same feelings about adoption as you do. [/quote]

Every biological parent's experience is also unique. You are obviously biased against adoption.

I would put more weight on parents who have actually raised children through adoption. Not onlookers who are judging it from the outside. [/quote]

PP here that you are addressing. That’s great! I am glad you will give more weight on what I wrote. I am an adoptive parent - as I mentioned in my first post - and our child is now in college. [/quote]

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