Reply to Family’s insensitive/racist comments

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I want to side with you, but your post has a couple of red flags. 1) your family hasn’t met your husband., not even on zoom? That to me already sounds tacky and sketch. If true, it doesn’t  look good on the husband. What type of person is okay marrying  someone without getting to know their family?  2) you said you are “mortified” to talk to your husband about what transpired, but in reality you sound scared, why can’t you be open and transparent with your HUSBAND?

About your issue, I am not concluding that what your family said was offensive or not because what matters is that it bothered you. So you should say something. I don’t agree with other PPs who want you to blast your family. A measured response or like others expressed a witty response may be sufficient to send the message. If that doesn’t work, then you can be more direct and short.

Finally, as a Latina I was offended…( just kidding😁) really just rolled my eyes when you called your future child biracial and your family racist against your husband for being Latino.  Please! You sound like you get high on being a victim. Latinos are not one race, we come in all different ‘races’ skin tones and facial features, we are Caucasian, black Asian, but mostly descendants of Spaniards and Latin American Natives. Unless your husband’ skin tone and facial features are drastically different than yours, your child WONT be a biracial baby. People won’t even notice or care. Your child won’t be even bicultural as you already said your husband and his parents were born in the US. I hope 🤞 i’m wrong but your post seems like a white woman's attempt to miss appropriate another’s group legitimate pain and sorrow. [/quote]

Also a Latina, who labels myself white (because the majority of Latinos do even if they have a non-white skin shade) but definitely mestizo - I had to warn my very white DH to prepare himself for brown-skinned babies.  :lol: I also wonder where you grew up - I grew up in an area of the US with a large Latino population and everyone could recognize Latino features, so yes, people knew who was Latino. My kids look Latino to me, even though one of them is quite light-skinned. If OPs DH is dark skinned, their kids might not pass for white.

I think what the OPs parents said was awful. It’s not just that they are making stupid name jokes, but Paco Taco - really, all they know about Latin culture is Mexican food? That wouldn’t even make sense for the majority of Latin people, who don’t eat tacos. It’s racist because it shows how much they stereotype Latinos.

My parents don’t make jokes like that about my kids, and I would be so hurt if my ILs had said anything like what OP’s family did. If they did say something, I think my DH would tell them it is really hurtful to me to say it (no one likes to be accused of being racist) and for them to stop. Even if they didn’t understand, I think my ILs would try to stop if they knew it upset me.

Honestly, my ILs do say racist things. I still think they are good (racist) people who are a product of their times. They are almost 80, my kids are still young (oldest is 7) and I think there is a decent chance they will die before my kids are old enough to understand the racist stuff they say (I don’t mean I want my ILs to die, just that they don’t live a very healthy lifestyle so doubt they will make it into their late 80s). [/quote]

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