Reply to Do you have an ex living rent free in your head?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For those saying DH’s AP is still there, why? He chose you. Why do you think about her at all? She was discarded.[/quote]

It’s a trauma response.  Re-experiencing—in which they suddenly and vividly re-live the traumatic event (discovery) in a repetitive manner. They have mental images/mind movies and ruminate over every past event to see if it was “real”.  Re-experiencing can enter dreams or come on suddenly in waking images or sensations of physical and emotional pain. It’s very common to overestimate how much control they had and blame themselves. People with solid social lives and interests may suddenly lose interest in their favorite hobbies, activities, and friends that they used to be very passionate about. Anxiety and depression result.

It takes a lot of therapy to evict that from their minds/life.  No matter how pathetic you may find the person and how disgusted you are by the way they live their life, it takes time to move on and realize living well and being happy is the best revenge.  You can go forward knowing you don’t treat yourself or other people as horribly as this person does.  [/quote]

And by other people you mean the man they stay married to? The misogyny here is beyond belief.[/quote]

No.  Not a great many divorce.  They both live there.  Don’t be an idiot.[/quote]

+1. Even though spouse was the one to break it off and begged for reconciliation. I couldn’t get either of them out of my head for a long time. I found them pathetic and repulsive that they both did this while in marriages w/kids, sneaking around like trash and lying like common thieves.

They both ended up in awful places when all was said and done.  Not worth it, for someone that dropped like trash on discovery.  Pathetic.[/quote]

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