Reply to Should I excuse DH from nighttime duties?

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[quote=Anonymous]Here me out. I am one of those “martyrs” who did all night time baby duties for my kids - I also have a more demanding job. I vividly recall the early days of having a baby and feeling like every decision was fraught and crucial and a harbinger of the future of my parenting and my marriage. Every decision from diaper type, pacifier or not, how to handle night feedings, sleep training, etc. I thought those decisions would set us down a specific path that foretold our future. 
They didn’t. You can try stuff and adjust / change as needed. What works during maternity leave might not work when you go back. What works when the baby is in your room might not work once you move them to their own room. I did all the night feedings up to a year or so - and my husband does WAY more kid stuff now that they are preschool / elementary age. He packs lunches, plans ahead for spirit week, takes them to sports practice, makes teacher gifts, etc. He doesn’t do well with broken sleep, but he’s super engaged in ways most of my friends’ husbands aren’t. I also don’t remember the first 12-18 months of each kid being a stressful point in my marriage - and I think that is because we each leaned into our strengths and didn’t worry about making everything fair lest we set up some imbalance that would never get corrected. [/quote]

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