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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Would you marry a man with no money?"
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[quote=Anonymous]I think it's more about shared values. If you value ambition, you will be irritated by a man who has none. If ambition to you is tied to wealth, then no amount of success will compensate for that lack of income. If success to you has more to do with prestige or respect, then lots of different jobs might fit that bill. Same if success means helping others or making a difference. I wanted to marry a smart, hard-working man, and I did. We took turns in the early years prioritizing our respective careers. First I got him through graduate school, then he got me through graduate school. Took us 15 years to pay off those loans. I stayed home for a couple years with babies, which meant living in a one-bedroom rental for a while to make it work. Now my career is front and center in our household and he's taking on the lion's share of child care duties. We did get some lucky breaks. We bought a tiny house before everything went crazy and we were able to sell it for enough profit to pay off the rest of our loans and get a slightly bigger house. Neither of us is materialistic, but we both like to travel and want to help our kids pay for college to the extent we can. Anyway, long way of saying that my values were intelligence, equal partnership/respect even if that means taking turns assuming the household/child care/financial burdens, working hard, wanting experiences over things, and education. We share all of those values and so we're happy. If either one of us was a spendthrift, or pouting that our friend A or friend B had a bigger house or nicer car, or we didn't see men and women as equal contributors, then it wouldn't have worked. Nothing wrong with valuing money, but if that's a big priority, you won't be happy with a low earner. [/quote]
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