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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My new DIL’s family lives in Portland and we would like her family (her 2 sisters and parents) to spend the holidays at our house in Maryland. We have the space and it just makes sense that they stay here. There’s some pushback from her parents about this and I feel like they need to understand I have an only child and am not okay with splitting up holidays between her family and ours. My son and DIL are fine with this plan but the parents are the ones not being agreeable. Any advice dealing with difficult conversations surrounding this? [/quote]

Soooo, funnily enough, we have a reverse of this situation. My parents and I get along really well with my brother's (my only sibling) in-laws, who are in, of all places, Portland, OR, along with my brother and SIL. But here's the deal - this relationship evolved organically over almost 20 years and my brother's MIL and FIL are gracious to a fault. My SIL is her mother's only child but her mother never tried to lay down the law and claim every holiday for herself.

We have visited there a lot over the last 20 years and even spent Christmas a couple of years ago with them. We were treated like family.

I suggest you back off and figure out how to be gracious and host when they are amenable to traveling cross-country and you might be surprised. But you need to understand that in-laws having a relationship of the type I describe above is not the norm.[/quote]

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