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[quote=Anonymous]I don’t like the way that other people are talking to you, OP. If you think you may have been neglected, you probably were. This is emotional neglect.

Most likely your mother was in survival mode as a single parent. Did she have support from her own family? Were your grandparents a regular part of your life? Were there aunts/uncles/cousins who came on birthdays and holidays? Did you have a nanny or a regular babysitter?

It is incredibly lonely to be a single parent, esp if there is not support from the extended family. Parenting is a 24-7 job. Relentless. Even with nuerotypical, polite, well-behaved kids the mental load of carrying it all can be crushing.

My mother is emotionally distant. I am an only child. I have always felt lonely. I always knew I wanted to have a bigger family and be a part of my childrens lives in a way that really makes them feel valued and supported. I am doing it but IT IS SO HARD. Most of my friends have the support of extended family members who swoop in and take kids for an afternoon. These folks show up at ballet recitals and preschool graduations. I don’t have that. My mom is still alive but she’s content doing her routine on her own, she doesn’t like to drive, she’s scared of traffic, etc etc. Bottom line - showing up is not important to her. She doesn’t do babysitting. She comes over a couple times a year and sits on the couch and asks me to bring her coffee and wants the kids to come in and smile so she can take pictures of them. It’s all very superficial. She doesn’t know them (or me) in a deep, emotionally-connected sort of way. Definitely doesn’t know about our friends or day-to-day lives. She’s just not interested. It stings a little bit. But I know I’m doing better for my own kids. I just feel like I’m always running on empty since I don’t have much support for myself. [/quote]

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