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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From what I’ve read Op doesn’t have, nor does she plan to have, her own children.  I [b]think a new perspective and understanding on raising children happens when you become a parent and you see your own parents in a different light.[/b]

Without having her own children it’s impossible for OP to truly understand what it’s like to raise children, especially as a single parent and then completely as a single parent because the ex died. Everyone thinks they’re the perfect parent and has all the parenting answers and know how, until they actually have their own children and realize all bets are off.

No, OP was not neglected but for whatever reason she feels like she was not given a proper upbringing or the love/attention she deserves (including because her mother didn’t spend time in the yard teaching her how to play sports?). I am sorry for that OP and this is an excellent reason to work these emotions out with a therapist.

I grew up with hoarder parents, we were food insecure and my parents could not handle money and were always on the brink of bankruptcy. My DH had divorced parents, my MIL would work very late until 9-10pm, then go out on dates, leaving my DH and younger SIL to fend for themselves until the early am hours, regularly, starting when my DH was 6. They had zero activities. No one took them to buy new clothes, etc. All of us were neglected. I am happy to opine OP you don’t sound like you were and had many things going for you that we would have really liked to have had. 
[/quote]

This is so true! I gained such a better understanding of my mom after I became a parent…even if I still don’t agree with everything she did I can see why she did things the way she did. There are some truly horrible parents out there but I think most parents do what they think is best for their children. I wonder if OP’s sibling remembers their childhood the way she does.[/quote]

My Mom pointed out to me that the people in our family who harbored the most anger about how they were parented are the ones who didn’t have children. It doesn’t excuse bad parenting, but having children certainly makes most people more forgiving. [/quote]

Not in my case. Once I had a child I couldn’t believe how abandoned I actually was. I had no clue. [/quote]

I think it’s more that having your own child is eye-opening and provides perspective you wouldn’t have otherwise.   For some, that leads to feeling more forgiving towards a parent.  And for others, it means understanding for the first time what your parents didn’t do for you [/quote]

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