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[quote=Anonymous]This is a very interesting thread. DH and I were more hands off than some parents and probably much more hands on than others. (Shout out to the PP who mentioned her working class classmates in the Midwest. I was one of them. My parents did their best, but really hard when the HS guidance counselor is telling you to apply to a certificate program and even your parents know that would not match your aptitude.)

With DC#1, we could be less hands off as this DC is fairly organized and self confident, partially due to being a very strong student. DC#1 still asked for occasional feedback on essays, help with organizing college visits, etc. DC#1 also good at saying, "I don' want to talk about college right now." DC#1 probably didn't have the robust ECs, awards that many have, but a stellar GPA and test score, one killer internship, and a legacy greatly helped. Without the legacy, DC#1 may now be scrambling but confident that this kid would have figured it out. Even college counselor thought there were good options.

A little more different with DC#2, who really struggled with an undiagnosed LD for first 2/3rds of 9th grade. We figured it out as this usually kind, funny kid with strong grades in some classes and above average in regular STEM appeared to be unraveling. Fortunately we had the means to get DC#2 tested right away. Ended the year with a B/B+ average, which was an achievement. DC#2 grades improved steadily though still struggles with executive function. We were a little more hands on here, prodding school visits in some instances, etc. We didn't make charts, but did check in occasionally. Did share essays 24 hours before due. Fortunately DC#2 had a school college counselor able and willing to speak with us, even if just to share our insights, especially where there may be obstacles. DC#2 went back and forth on ED1 choice, ended up going for the low reach and was successful. Will say that I think DC#2 wishes the grades had been stronger so there are some regrets even if that really wasn't tenable at that time.[/quote]

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