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[quote=Anonymous]
I am seeing a little of this dynamic from afar with my MIL. She is in advanced stage of Parkinson's, and needs day time care, and night-time supervision. One of my BIL lives with her, and there is a cast of rotating aides.

We're overseas and can only help by managing the long-term portfolio, to ensure that she has money until the end. However I feel for my BIL who lives with her. I'm not sure if this could continue just with the aides, who are willing and kind enough, but uneducated and who might not know what to do in case of emergency - and there have been emergencies.  So it all comes down to my BIL. He has two houses, but chooses to live with his mother. He could go on vacation, but prefers to work and then sleep the night over at her house so he can be there in case of falls or pain crises.

He's a saint. I am forever grateful that such people exist, but I worry that he's too hard on himself. At the same time, he's probably thinking that all the other possible options, such as hiring an aide for the night too, aren't good enough for his mother and too expensive for the service he's going to get. He's the type to prefer doing things himself.

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