Reply to To those that believe the elderly should always make their own decisions

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nursing homes are where the elderly go to die. At least the ones where the person is confined to a room with one bed. I've never seen anyone willingly move into a nursing home.[/quote]

there are steps between four bedroom house with a yard in the burbs and a nursing home. trying to convince my parents to downsize to something more manageable at their age--no yard, one floor, less square footage so easier to maintain--but they refuse. they don't want to deal with the hassle of downsizing, but how is that going to get better or easier when they're older?[/quote]

It won’t. They will rely on relatives to help with all the chores involved in caring for their home or for continuing to live in their home. This will give them the illusion of independence. That’s what has happened with my in-laws and with the parents of several friends and neighbors. Their children or nephews/nieces are the ones cutting the grass, shoveling snow, doing the grocery shopping, managing medical appointments, etc etc. In several cases, daughters (or sons, but to a lesser degree) have had to move in with their parents to care for them in their own home, to the detriment of their careers and marriages. My SIL has been doing this for over 10 years. It cost her her marriage and she can’t work FT, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s not about an inheritance—she is in a lucrative profession. It is what it is. I vow every time I think of it to never do this to my own child. [/quote]

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